


Repercussions

by Jade4813



Series: Zoey's Extraordinary Confession Series [2]
Category: Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23318407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jade4813/pseuds/Jade4813
Summary: Sequel to Fallout (and episode 7 of the series). Zoey still has the ability to hear other people's "heartsongs" but now others can hear her feelings, too. Will Max finally learn how she feels about him? (Inspired by the episode 8 description.)There will be a third story in this mini-series!
Relationships: Zoey Clarke/Max, Zoey Clarke/Max Richman
Series: Zoey's Extraordinary Confession Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676923
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69





	Repercussions

“So, how are things going with you are Max?” Mo asked, grabbing the cup of tea Zoey offered as he sat down on the couch next to her.

“They’re…fine,” she replied, the noticeable pause between the words betraying the doubt behind her smile. At Mo’s pointed look, she shrugged and took a sip of her tea to delay the inevitable. “They’re…I don’t know. They’re awkward. He asked for space, and I’m giving him space.”

Mo lifted his eyebrows and swept his hair off his shoulder in a gesture that somehow managed to capture the full measure of his disbelief. “And you’re okay with that?”

Zoey feigned nonchalance as she responded brightly, “I’m not _not_ fine! I totally understand! He’s my best friend. The least I can do is to give him the space he needs to, you know, process…everything!”

“You mean to process the fact that you have a superpower. And the fact that he loves you, which you knew but didn’t tell him because you aren’t ready to admit how you feel about him.”

Her laugh was shaky. “How I feel ab-No! He’s my friend! I mean, it’s complicated. Maybe he could be more than that one day. But it’s not – I-I-I’m not –”

“Able to finish sentences when you talk about him?” Mo offered in a tone that was deceptively innocent.

Zoey felt her cheeks flush as she begged, only half-joking, “Okay, could we maybe put a little less honesty in our friendship right now?”

“Uh-uh. That sounds like a waste of time, and I am having too much fun watching you squirm over that boy,” he teased.

“Really? I’d have thought you’d say it was annoying and giving you second-hand embarrassment.”

Mo shrugged. “It’s a bit of both. So what are you going to do about Max?”

She breathed out a long breath and stared into her cup so she didn’t have to meet Mo’s eyes. Finally, she said, “I’m gonna give him the space he needs and trust that, at the end of the day, I’m doing the right thing. Max is…he’s my best friend, and that relationship is just too important for me to risk if we tried for more and things just didn’t work out between us.”

Fearing Mo’s judgment, she kept her gaze locked firmly on her cup for a long moment, but when she finally looked up at her friend, his eyes were kind and he didn’t press the issue. “Okay.”

“Okay? That’s it? You’re not going to give me a hard time for being a coward?” she asked, somewhat relieved, though she was surprised to feel a tiny twinge of regret that he was letting her off the hook so easily.

“I won’t give you a hard time,” Mo reassured her. “You don’t have to date Max if you really aren’t interested in a relationship with him. But you need to accept that things _are_ going to change between the two of you. And you have to ask yourself what you’re going to do when he decides he’s ready to move on and fall in love with someone else. Are you really going to be okay with that?”

“Of course I’ll be okay with that! I just want Max to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

* * *

She _would_ be okay with Max falling in love with someone else, she told herself firmly as she walked through her parents’ front door later that evening. Why wouldn’t she be okay with it? She’d been okay when he dated Autumn. Heck, she’d set the two of them up! And, sure, if she was totally honest with herself, she didn’t really ever think that their relationship would become _serious_. And maybe she hadn’t been entirely surprised when Max ended things. But that didn’t change the fact that she’d been totally fine with the idea of him dating someone else.

Zoey forced her mind away from thoughts of Max, turning her attention to her parents instead. It was an impromptu visit, and she’d been too preoccupied after her conversation with Mo to think of calling them with a head’s up that she was heading over. It occurred to her only belatedly that she might have come at a bad time. Before she could call out to them to let them know she was there, however, she heard music filter softly through the crack between the sliding glass doors separating the foyer from her parents’ makeshift bedroom. Hesitating only a moment, she crept forward to peer into the adjoining room.

Her mom had been curled up at her dad’s side, her head on his shoulder. But as Zoey watched, the two of them stood and began to dance slowly in each others’ arms to a song she’d never heard before. She held her breath as her father began to croon softly, _“You ask how much I need you. Must I explain? I need you, oh my darling, like roses need rain. You ask how long I’ll love you. I’ll tell you true. Until the Twelfth of Never. I’ll still be loving you.”_

Zoey’s eyes filled with tears, and though she felt like she was intruding on a private moment – even if it was one only she could see – she couldn’t pull herself away. Mitch pressed a tender kiss against his the top of wife’s head as she rested her cheek against his shoulder and picked up the song where he had left off.

_“Hold me close. Never let me go. Hold me close. Melt my heart like April snow. I’ll love you ‘til the bluebells forget to bloom. I’ll love you ‘til the clover has lost its perfume. I’ll love you ‘til the poets run out of rhyme. Until the Twelfth of Never, and that’s a long, long time.”_

Her father finished the song, as he led her back to their seat and the two of them resumed their positions as though they had never left – which, of course, they never had. _“Until the Twelfth of Never. And that’s a long, long time.”_

Fighting back tears, Zoey crept as silently as she could to the door and let herself out before they could discover her there. It was devastating to lose her father slowly, feeling him slip away from her inch by inch. But watching her dad slip away from her mom left her feeling hollow inside. Of course she’d always known that they loved each other, but her superpower had allowed her to witness their private sorrow. It was almost too much to bear.

Swiping her tears off her cheek, Zoey headed home. She couldn’t imagine what her life would be like when the day finally came that she lost her father for good. But she pressed her hand against her stomach, feeling sick at the thought of what his loss would do to her mother. Seeing without a doubt how much they loved each other, Zoey knew that pain would be unimaginable.

Part of Zoey wanted to find that kind of love one day. To love like that; to be loved like that in return. But knowing the depth of that love, she didn’t know that she would ever find the strength to carry on after such a loss. How could she ever find the strength to love someone that deeply, knowing the risk? Knowing that losing them would be like losing a part of herself?

Knowing that losing _Max_ would be like losing a part of herself?

She couldn’t do it. She wasn’t that strong, and she certainly wasn’t that brave. She had come to terms with the fact that she was going to lose her father one day, though she dreaded it every minute of every day. She knew she would also lose her mother one day, and it would devastate her. But she also knew she would carry their love with her even after they were gone, and that love would help her find a way to carry on.

But losing Max? She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t lose him. She didn’t know how she could survive _that_.

Mo was right. Max would move on one day. He’d fall in love with someone else, and though he might remain the most important man in her life, she would no longer be the most important woman in his. She told herself that’s what she wanted. She _wanted_ him to find someone else. She wanted him to be happy, even if it was with someone else. She just wasn’t sure she was strong enough or brave enough to bring him the happiness he deserved.

Zoey raced up the stairs and slammed her apartment door behind her, leaning heavily against the wood like it could protect her from the demons that haunted her. Sinking to the ground, her back to the door, she rested her forehead against her knees and felt her entire body tremble as she cried.

* * *

_“What’ll I do when you are far away, and I am blue? What’ll I do?”_

The music was soft and sad, carrying faintly through Mo’s door, and he frowned, poking his head outside to follow the source. It seemed to be coming from Zoey’s apartment, so he stepped forward and knocked softly on the door. “Zoey?”

_“What’ll I do when I am wondering who is kissing you? What’ll I do?”_

Zoey didn’t answer, so he knocked a little harder. He didn’t want to interrupt, but there was something so desolate about her singing, he couldn’t just leave her alone. “Zoey, it’s Mo. Are you okay?”

_“What’ll I do with just a photograph to tell my troubles to? When I’m alone with only dreams of you that won’t come true, what’ll I do?”_

“I-I’m fine!” Zoey finally called through the door, her voice thick with emotion. “I just…I need to be alone right now.”

Mo hesitated, but he finally dropped his hand to his side. “Okay. But I’m just across the hall if you need anything.” He didn’t receive a response, so he retreated to his apartment after giving the door one more long, reluctant look.

* * *

“All right, I give up. What’s going on with you?” Joan asked heavily as she stared at Zoey across her desk. For the last several days, Zoey had been distracted and scattered. More than usual, even. While Joan always prided herself on not caring about the personal lives of her twenty-something staff, Zoey had been there for her recently, with everything that happened with Charlie. Joan might not be very good at reciprocal friendship – always too wrapped up in her work and the next big idea – but she was willing to try.

“Up? Nothings up. Everything’s fine!” Zoey replied, with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

Joan groaned deep in her throat. “Look, I’m not very good at this. But you were here for me when I needed someone to talk to. And I want you to know that…you know…if you need to talk to someone…well, you can talk to me.” When the younger woman didn’t speak right away, she took a stab in the dark, suggesting, “Is this about what happened at Simon’s engagement party?”

Zoey seemed genuinely confused. “What? No, of course not. I mean, things were awkward for a little while between us, but I think we’re working our way through it.”

“So it’s about your friend with the bad fashion sense.” She knew she was on the right track when Zoey’s gaze dropped to her lap and her cheeks turned red. She didn’t say anything, so Joan pressed, “The one who’s in love with you.”

Zoey jerked, her breath escaping in a mortified cough. “Wh-what? Why would you say that?”

“Because I have eyes?” she suggested, rolling the eyes in question. Then, realizing her sarcasm had probably hit the wrong tone, she forced her voice to soften and asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Zoey winced. “No. I don’t think so. Not right now. But,” she paused and drew in a shaky breath, “thank you, Joan. For asking.” After a second’s pause, she added, “About you and Leif? I mean, about the project…There was something I…I think you should know that…uh…”

When her voice trailed off, Joan nodded her head slightly and asked, “Yes?”

She could see the indecision cross her subordinate’s face. Finally, her shoulders sagged and she mumbled, “It’s nothing. Never mind. I should get back to work.”

Relieved to escape an uncomfortable conversation about her employees’ love lives, Joan nodded briskly. She turned her attention back to her To Do list when she heard Zoey start to sing across her desk.

_“Mmm num ba de. Dum bum ba be. Doo buh dum ba beh beh.”_

“What?” Joan asked as Zoey jumped to her feet and started to dance around her office.

Gesturing wildly, Zoey all but crawled on top of Joan’s desk as she sang loudly. “ _Pressure! Pushing down on me. Pressing down on you. No man ask for. Under pressure! That burns a building down, splits a family in two, puts people on streets. Um ba ba be. Um ba ba be. De day da. Ee day da, that’s okay!”_

Joan jerked back in her chair, putting a little distance between herself and Zoey. “I don’t really understand what’s going on right now, but –”

To her relief, Zoey backed off the desk, though she still danced around her chair. _“It's the terror of knowing what the world is about. Watching some good friends screaming, "Let me out!" Pray tomorrow gets me higher. Pressure on people, people on streets. Day day de mm hm. Da da da ba ba. Okay!”_

“ZOEY!” Joan barked, as Zoey collapsed back into her seat.

At the sound of her name, Zoey straightened abruptly, her eyes wide in surprise. “Yes?”

Thankful that the impromptu song and dance number had ended, Joan shook her head. “All right, well. That was…weird. Try to keep a hold of yourself when you go out there, okay? I know you’re going through,” she paused and gestured vaguely, unable to even find the words for what just happened, “ _something_. And I know there’s a lot of pressure on you right now, but I wouldn’t do it if I wasn’t sure you could handle it. Just remember not everyone is as understanding as I am and, you know, stay off my desk.”

A confused frown marred Zoey’s brow, but she nodded slowly. “Okay, well…thank you. I mean, I will.” Then she jumped to her feet and ran out of Joan’s office.

* * *

Max leaned his head back against the elevator wall and closed his eyes, steeling himself for the day ahead. When he felt the movement stop beneath his feet, he sucked in a deep breath and straightened, forcing a smile as the elevator doors slid open.

The first thing he saw was Zoey, curled up in one of the hanging wicker chairs, her computer in her lap as she resting her chin on one hand. He felt all the air escape his lungs in a whoosh. As it had for too as long as he could remember, just seeing her took his breath away. It was simultaneously both the best and worst part of his day. He allowed himself one second to wish she’d look up, that their eyes would meet across the room and he’d see her lips curve into a smile. But then, before he could indulge in wishful thinking any longer, he forced himself to look away.

For too long, he’d kept his feelings locked inside. Hidden from the world. Hidden from her. Now she was aware of them, and he was trying to come to terms with the fact that she didn’t feel the same way about him. He couldn’t help but love her, but he had to try to put those feelings behind him. He would rather have her in his life as a friend and nothing more than lose her completely. But she was the first person he thought of in the morning and the last person he thought about at night. His dreams were filled with her. She was the most important person in the world to him. How could he pretend she was anything less?

Though he could try to deny it to himself – and to her – he was pretty sure he would love her for the rest of his life. She’d held his heart in her hand from almost the moment they’d met. He couldn’t just cut out the part of himself that loved her, because he loved her with everything he was. So how could he ever force himself to stop?

Well, he had to try. She didn’t reciprocate his feelings, and he had no right to force her to share their burden. So in the meantime, while he figured out how to just stop loving her, he was forcing himself to pull away from her a little bit. Give her some space to come to terms with the unwelcome awareness of his feelings. Give his heart some space to heal.

And in the meantime, he felt her slipping away, bit by bit. Or perhaps he was slipping away from her. The worst part was, he didn’t know how to stop it without shattering his heart into pieces. As if he hadn’t done a good enough job of that already.

Giving into temptation, he shot a glance at her out of the corner of his eye, trying not to stare as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear with a graceful sweep of her hand. Then she looked up at him with such sadness in her eyes, it stopped him in his tracks. Though he knew it would only cause him further pain, he couldn’t just walk away from her when she looked so broken and alone.

“Zoey?” he asked, his voice soft as he approached her slowly. He swore to himself that he would find the strength to leave her alone, if she showed even the slightest sign that his presence was unwelcome. “Are you okay?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure.”

“Well, do you want to talk about it?” On instinct, he took a step closer. Then, realizing what he had done, he reminded himself that he was supposed to be maintaining space between them. Of course, he was supposed to be putting emotional space between them, not physical space. But until he figured out how to do the former, the latter would have to do. With that reminder, he took a step back. When he saw the flash of hurt cross her face, however, he almost reached to hold her, until he remembered that physical contact was almost certainly crossing some sort of invisible, unspoken boundary.

No matter how many pep talks he gave himself, he was really, really bad at pretending he didn’t adore her.

Choosing not to comment on his strange behavior, Zoey rested her head against the wicker frame of her chair as she swayed slowly back and forth. “I went to see my parents, and I heard them singing to each other. I just…I know I’m bad at this emotional stuff, but I don’t know how anyone could be _good_ at it! I just can’t imagine loving someone that much and losing them! How could you even carry on after something like that? Why would you ever let yourself fall in love if you know you could lose the person you love like that?”

Max winced, shifting a little away from her once more. He wanted to offer her comfort but he, of all people, had no idea how to do so. How could you carry on when you loved someone so much that it shattered you? He was still trying to figure that out for himself.

Still, it wasn’t in him to let her go through this alone. He just wasn’t sure how to offer her advice without it sounding self-serving. “What did your mom say?” he asked cautiously.

“I didn’t tell her. I mean, I couldn’t because she doesn’t know about my superpower. But I couldn’t put that on her anyway! Not when she's dealing with so much as it is!”

“Well,” he began, still choosing his words carefully, “maybe you should try talking to your mom about this. Maybe not about your superpower, because that would be a lot for her to process right now. But about how you’re feeling.” At her skeptical look, he continued, “Zoey, if you want to know if loving someone as deeply as your mom loves your dad is worth the pain that she’s dealing with at the thought of losing him, then she’s the only one who can tell you that. I know what you’re going through is horribly, impossibly hard. But maybe she can help.”

After she’d taken a moment to consider his words, she threw him a soft, shaky smile. “You’re probably right. Maybe talking to her would make me feel better. Thank you, Max. I know I’ve said this before, but I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

It was like a dagger to the heart, but he hid the sudden shaft of pain. He’d gotten a lot of practice hiding his feelings from Zoey. Until she developed the ability to hear his emotions through song, of course. “Any time,” he replied lightly, rising to his feet.

As he turned to walk away, he heard music start to play quietly behind him. He had just started to glance around, looking for the source, when he heard Zoey start to sing.

_“I know I’m kinda strange to you sometimes. Don’t always say what’s on my mind. You know that I’ve been hurt by some guy. But I don’t want to mess up this time.”_

Turning back around to face her, he threw her a puzzled look. “I know you have a superpower where you can hear people singing, but I’m not sure people at work would really understand…”

She ignored him, not even reacting to his statement as she rose to her feet and approached. Her face inches away from his, she sang, _“And I really, really, really care. And I really, really, really want you. And I think I’m kinda scared. ‘Cause I don’t want to lose you.”_

His heart leaping in his chest, Max swallowed hard. “Zoey?” he breathed, reaching for her, but she raised her hand and side-stepped, moving behind him.

As she circled him, she continued, _“If you really, really, really care, then maybe you can hang through. I hope you understand. It’s nothing to you.”_

“Can we – can we talk about what’s going on right now?” he asked, reaching for her once more. But she moved away again, dancing out of his reach as she returned to her chair.

_“My heart’s at a low. I’m so much to manage. I think you should know that I’ve been damaged._ ” She sank into her seat, curling her legs up in front of her as she finished, _“I’m falling in love. There’s one disadvantage. I think you should know that I’ve been damaged.”_

By the time she stopped singing, Max could barely breathe. His heart racing in his chest, he finally choked out, “Zoey? Uh…what the hell was that?”

She looked up at him in confusion. “What was what?”


End file.
